god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
