I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My ATM looks so different sober.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
