Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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