Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
