She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
