I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I still have a little drunk in my system
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
