Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
