Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
