Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
