i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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