That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize