Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
wat bout pragnant strippers??
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All I want is dick and wine.
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