friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
