I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
