I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
