I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
