I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
