So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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