I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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