Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
