Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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