East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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