I want you more than these girls want KFC
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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