I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
