my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
