I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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