hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
