The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
