You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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