Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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