I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
