the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
