Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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