i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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