she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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