So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
