sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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