I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The air taste purple.
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