I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize