Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
