What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize