I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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