so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
