Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
