belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
