You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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