Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
