dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
