I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
