At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
