I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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