I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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