i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
