I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
