Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
