I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
