I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
