I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
wow bdsm is so cute
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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