So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
