People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
