Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
