where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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