dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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