I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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