dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
