I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
