White coat. Heels.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
