Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize