We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
