I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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