Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize