there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
