I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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