I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
