There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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