Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
