We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
