I hate your face
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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