I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
How external is "for external use only"?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
