I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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