I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
