there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize