she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Pooping to opera.
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